We just celebrated the church's 6th year anniversary. Today as I am resting and feeling pain and fatigue in my body after yesterday's activities and also the euphoria of emotions of all that happened yesterday, I mulled over God's Word today in:
New Living Translation
Proverbs 14:10
Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.
If someone would have asked me what I felt yesterday and probably what happened for the past 6 years, this verse best describes it.
Something you can't fully equate or put into words. A life meant to be experienced rather than explained. Much like poetry. You don't feel the words really- more of felt and experienced it personally thats why a poem seems beautiful and true.
To describe a life of a follower and disciple of Jesus- bittersweet.
Bitterness that only your heart could fully know and joys that are beyond words to be expressed and could not be fully shared to others.
Just like last Sunday.
I witnessed something I have prayed for so long- a dream that came to pass. A joy that is so special no high definition camera could fully capture.
And I was getting a front row view of it all.
As it unfolded all right before my eyes and the words that needs to be spoken just flowed in the moment. Each a confirmation and affirmation for what we've been praying for months and even years before. It was truly beautiful to see a 'tree' grow after all the seeds tears and even weeping you have planted years ago (psalm 126).
The children you have raised up as God partnered with you to Love Him and to love others grew to become adults that are bearing fruit.
To witness them make right choices, pushing through their own mistakes through God's grace, seeing them seek blessing and confirmation from their leaders not as a sign of submission but of relationship- priceless.
To witness them seek that blessing even if it meant doing something unconventional and even unpopular and uncomfortable it maybe in the worlds view. To seek it with boldness and courage, something you prayed they'd grow up to be and imagined- and saw it happen right before your eyes.
To also hear and see them ask affirmation and humbly ask prayers as they accept the challenge of the process knowing that when it is right- also will be their desired outcome.
And I, I was just a spectator that day. It was one of those joys that makes this life sweet.
But what made it bitter despite the sweetness?
Because you also knew what happened before those sweet joys happened.
You witnessed firsthand the pain and the mistakes they had committed before they chose the Right thing that was not easy.
Because life with Jesus is like that. Its both bitter and sweet. Each balancing each other. Not too bitter that makes us ungrateful. But not also too sweet that would make us forgetful.
Just like a bittersweet cup of coffee :)
Just enough pain to protect us.
Just enough joy to remind us that God is still Good.
A little bitterness that God alone can make it sweet by His Grace.
So what's the most bittersweet I experienced yesterday?
Its being the spectator of it all. Just that. Never a participant. Always watching. Always seeing it happen to others but never really fully experiencing the joy or the dream that just came true.
Its both a bittersweet spot for me. It reminds me that its not about me- it will always be about Jesus.
Much like Moses overlooking the 'Promised Land' on Mount Nebo. Seeing it all but never getting to experience it.
The bittersweetness of it all reminds me that Moses stopped thinking he won't get in- he only thought of the 'Joshua' he raised up- will he be ready to enter it?
Same sentiment now. I pray and hope to raise more 'Joshua's' who will 'possess the Promises of God', even if it meant I won't be able to.
Because it will always be not about you and me...only about Jesus.
After 6 years, it will always be about Jesus. Always have and always will be. All Glory to Him :)
New Living Translation
Proverbs 14:10
Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.
If someone would have asked me what I felt yesterday and probably what happened for the past 6 years, this verse best describes it.
Something you can't fully equate or put into words. A life meant to be experienced rather than explained. Much like poetry. You don't feel the words really- more of felt and experienced it personally thats why a poem seems beautiful and true.
To describe a life of a follower and disciple of Jesus- bittersweet.
Bitterness that only your heart could fully know and joys that are beyond words to be expressed and could not be fully shared to others.
Just like last Sunday.
I witnessed something I have prayed for so long- a dream that came to pass. A joy that is so special no high definition camera could fully capture.
And I was getting a front row view of it all.
As it unfolded all right before my eyes and the words that needs to be spoken just flowed in the moment. Each a confirmation and affirmation for what we've been praying for months and even years before. It was truly beautiful to see a 'tree' grow after all the seeds tears and even weeping you have planted years ago (psalm 126).
The children you have raised up as God partnered with you to Love Him and to love others grew to become adults that are bearing fruit.
To witness them make right choices, pushing through their own mistakes through God's grace, seeing them seek blessing and confirmation from their leaders not as a sign of submission but of relationship- priceless.
To witness them seek that blessing even if it meant doing something unconventional and even unpopular and uncomfortable it maybe in the worlds view. To seek it with boldness and courage, something you prayed they'd grow up to be and imagined- and saw it happen right before your eyes.
To also hear and see them ask affirmation and humbly ask prayers as they accept the challenge of the process knowing that when it is right- also will be their desired outcome.
And I, I was just a spectator that day. It was one of those joys that makes this life sweet.
But what made it bitter despite the sweetness?
Because you also knew what happened before those sweet joys happened.
You witnessed firsthand the pain and the mistakes they had committed before they chose the Right thing that was not easy.
Because life with Jesus is like that. Its both bitter and sweet. Each balancing each other. Not too bitter that makes us ungrateful. But not also too sweet that would make us forgetful.
Just like a bittersweet cup of coffee :)
Just enough pain to protect us.
Just enough joy to remind us that God is still Good.
A little bitterness that God alone can make it sweet by His Grace.
So what's the most bittersweet I experienced yesterday?
Its being the spectator of it all. Just that. Never a participant. Always watching. Always seeing it happen to others but never really fully experiencing the joy or the dream that just came true.
Its both a bittersweet spot for me. It reminds me that its not about me- it will always be about Jesus.
Much like Moses overlooking the 'Promised Land' on Mount Nebo. Seeing it all but never getting to experience it.
The bittersweetness of it all reminds me that Moses stopped thinking he won't get in- he only thought of the 'Joshua' he raised up- will he be ready to enter it?
Same sentiment now. I pray and hope to raise more 'Joshua's' who will 'possess the Promises of God', even if it meant I won't be able to.
Because it will always be not about you and me...only about Jesus.
After 6 years, it will always be about Jesus. Always have and always will be. All Glory to Him :)
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