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Shut Up!

"Useless!"
"Walang Kwenta!"
"After 1 year wala ka man lang natulong sa kanila!"
"You're nothing!"
"Dependent"
"Pabigat!"
"Di ka man lang mahiya?"

Revelation 12:

"9 This great dragon—the ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, the one deceiving the whole world—was thrown down to the earth with all his angels."

Lies. All of this are lies from the Enemy I've been hearing whole day. But it took all of my strength until it brought me to tears.

Financially, I was not able to contribute to my parents even I was working for almost 1 year... And now, the conference is coming and I could not even contribute a single cent. For the tickets, accommodation and maybe even for our allowance in Manila, it will be provided by my Parents. And the enemy found it as an opening for his lies.

"Di ka man lang nahiya?"...that was the constant lie today. "Mahiya ka naman! Di ka na nga nakakabigay ng pera, lagi ka pang pinapadalhan!"...Painfully I accepted it all. And that was my mistake..

Today's Warning:
"A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls."

Self-control.. I was losing it.

There is no condemnation in Christ (Rom.8:1).

Then I found out that my salary is on hold since I'm leaving the company. Oh-oh...No allowance for 2 weeks. So all the more I sink in my self-pity. And my mother came to the rescue. She was supposed to buy "pasalubongs" for ate and dadi from Davao today. Instead, she gave her ATM to me and said,
- "Yan na muna allowance mo ha since wala kang sweldo."
#tears

I was crying inside, I could not show it. I just hugged her. Humbled by what my mother did. And all the more what my Family is doing. They never asked me or reminded me of every expenses they had for me especially my stay here n Davao. They never said that I was very dependent. They never asked me for anything but just to give my best in wherever God would place me. And I am all the more humbled. My parents never held back the best from me except if its not for my own good. I'm blessed to be raised in a family that is not materialistic. I grew to appreciate it all the more today.
Today's Promise:

11The right word

at the right time

is like precious gold

set in silver.

12Listening to good advice

is worth much more

than jewelry made of gold."

Proverbs 25:11-12


As I was speaking to Ma Anne about this since we have to discuss the other payments for the G12 conference. She said,
"Di natin kayang suklian ang mga parents natin. Wala pa sa kalingkingan ang nagawa at kaya nilang gawin para sa atin. Sa susunod tayo na din ang makakagawa nyan sa ating sariling pamilya."

Then she added, "Naiintindihan ka ng parents mo Lec kung ginagawa nila ito sayo. Alam nila na di ka pa makaprovide."

The one that really hit home, "Humility. Kelangan mo tanggapin at maging humble."

I'm listening from every advice she said even if it is really hard. Just like what Mama Weng texted:
"I understand na di madali, it's in humility and in living your identity in Christ that you can overcome that.."

Humility. Humble Down. I need that right now.

Pride. Before I was won over by God, that was what I was dealing with when I first came to Davao. I wanted to prove something to my parents; I want to show them I'm independent and able to provide. But it all changed. Everything changed. I changed. God changed me.

Lord please continually change me. Make me humble today all the more. And please deafen my ears from all Lies of the Great Deceiver. Please.. I could not do this on my own. I can never do this on my own. For without you I am Nothing. If you are sending me out Lord, I should stand firm. And Lord please. help me...Help me..Humble me..Humble me..


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