Nothingness

The Tools God gave me to do His Work. My Guitar. Pre-Encounter Booklet. Manila Paper for the Copy of the Songs. Songbook. The Word of God.

After a long ride from Davao to Kabacan (4pm and we were still in Matina), I went directly to one of my girls for our opencell/date/pre-enc. After two hours of sharing/talking/lesson, went home to prepare for the Sunday Service tomorrow and of course, to get some rest.

I was alone. Erika and te Juvy is still having their pre-enc party. My sis and my father is asleep. My mother is still on duty. I am alone. One woman Team preparing for the Sunday Gathering tomorrow. As I was Musing/Practicing/Soaking/Praying/Meditating (I think I should change my title into slash!!jejeje), I received a text message from Nay Langga:

"God will put you in a place of nothingness so that you'll have nothing to cling on except Hid love."

I was struck by the message.

Nothingness....I'm in a state of nothingness at that time. I was alone. And I felt nothing compared to the work God wants me to do. My Ministry, Work and even my Life seemed small to God Almighty. Maybe that's what He wants us to understand. That to accomplish things we have to rely on Him and just Cling on His Love and Live by Grace.

And as days passed by the nothingness seem to increase.

In my Work- the difficulties, the enormity and the choices I had to make.

In my Cell- Everything is not going to plan. People all of a sudden change. Commitments break and I'm speechless as to what I'm going to do.

In my finances- Everything seemed out of budget.

Again...The Nothingness...It continues...Do you know what I did?

Knelt down to God. Surrendered it all. The People, my work, my finances and even my emotions. I just kept on crying out to God. I don't know what to do. Then God, through my tears and sobs reminded me this:

"You are a disciple because you were chosen By Grace. Not by Human appointment, but by the Gift of Undeserved Grace. The Message you preach were not taught by Human preaching but it is what you received when you Encountered God. You are Chosen by Grace."

Chosen by Grace. Chosen By Grace. I had to repeat that to my self all through out the day. I had to let it sink in..That I am not here because of me its all because of Him. I'm nothing without Him. In my nothingness Lord...I'll cling to your Love..Your Grace..

Note: I had to look at the picture again. In my guitar the verse: "W/ God, all things are possible." Thank you for the reminder God...