Party From Dusk till Dawn

As I breathe in and out the smoke.

It gets to my eyes; I’m blinded for a while.

Bitter it may taste, yet still I take.

The beer I claim mine.

Sounds of people’s chatter,

Loud music that gets louder.

Which will I prefer?

The bustle of the party or

The solitude of silence?

But I do not worry for it may not matter.

As the party goes on,

From dusk till dawn.

I feel so tipsy,

Yet; still I drink more and am merry.

The people I call “friends” laugh with no end.

To me all of this seems shallow,

But I bite my doubt coz I’ll get lost

If this crowd I don’t follow.

And when the party is over,

I walk swaying to my empty room.

I opened the lock,

It was already early morn.

Straight to bed in my party clothes,

With beer and smoke to smell.

But as sleep comes, I utter a prayer,

“Lord, was I happy today?”

I realize it was wrong to ask,

I have done these things on my own accord.

But the tears I could not mask.

What did it take for me to please the friends I’m with?

It took my soul and left me so weak.

What did it take to fill the emptiness in me?

It took buckets of beer but it only made me sick.

What did it take for me to be happy?

It only took my integrity and my God along the way.

- I have written this poem during my loneliness and search for God 2 years ago before I finally gave my life. I think I wrote this while I was recovering from a Hang over. After reading it again, I realized how lost I was. I keep on reading this verse in Romans 7:15. Now I realized, I have been longing for God for so long.

- If I’m not alone please tell me..I would love to pray for you..You are not alone…

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