What if today is the only day you will be single?
I got that question after listening to a podcast from BCC Elevate, a gatherin every thursday of young professionals single or married. It was by a missionary who married at 39. She posed that question at the end of her preaching. It made me think.
If today would be the last day being single what would I do? So i came up with things i wish i could spend more time doing before the gift of marriage comes.
1. Passionate Spirituality
Eapecially prayer. I won't claim that i am a praying woman or warrior, but its definitely one of the major things that consume my time and energy in my single life.
Yes i know that in marriage it will become power of one, passion multiplied twice because it will be the 2 of you praying.
But that's it- it will be multiplied. If in my single life I was not passionate spiritually especially in my prayer life, what will be multiplied in my married life?
Each season of your life is always a preparation for the next.
By the time you marry also, your time will be divided. Even Paul in 1 Cor. 7:32 to 35 that being single is not because you are not courting anyone right now or you are not being courted or whatever reason you have now. The main reason for singleness is that its a season to serve and worship Jesus with as little distractions because in marriage your interests will be divided-pleasing God, your husband or wife, children and other more.
If in your singleness you have not practiced this how much more in your marriage?
Its also my time to practice self control and preserve my purity.
2. Improvement of Self
I know that nobody's perfect and everyone is a work in progress and changing. But i want that before i get to the altar on my wedding day, i have progressed and changed much already especially my not so good habits.
Because when you get married that stinky feet, bad breathe, personal issues and other bad traits won't disappear like magic. So as much as i can i want to change and keep an attitude of change that i will carry from my single to married life.
If this is would be my only day left to be single, many things come to mind:
- travel more like locally and internationally;
- watch a movie by myself;
- read and buy more books!
- write a book;
- finish my Masters degree;
- learn a new skill or improve one;
- save as much as i can
- learn to manage my own finances;
- open a business or invest
I can write more and i know you have an idea now for your own list. But definitely, i want to be more selfless in this season of singleness. To take up my own cross, die daily to my own selfish desires and follow Jesus everyday. I want to be more God focused in this time. Because in marriage its not about you anymore, its about the one you love. You put him or her first.
My desire is that when he finally finds me, he would have found a treasure and not a trap. That i may add to his life as he himself seeks God first and His righteousness.
3. Family time well spent
A friend of mine adviced me that i spend more time with my family now as a single because when your married time with them will be become less.
Since i am the youngest among 2, we are very close as a family and i grew up doing ministry with them also like we are doing now. I want to honor my parents more in this time. Vacations, family adventures and even financial aide.
Also, they say how you treat or interact the closest men in your family like brother or your father is the way you will treat your future husband. So i'll be practicing how to relate to my father, how i honir him and respect and submit to him will be a reflection for the future.
4. Maximizing my ministry
Since i am a pastor, i've heard many that i should get marry now because i need a partner so my ministry would grow. I used to think that way also but when i got to a certain level of increase in my ministry as a single it changed my mind.
I thought of Paul when he said in 1 Cor. 7:8 that its better to stay unmarried just as he was. It got me thinking.
What was he like?
He was single and unmarried until he died.
He spent his life spreading the Gospel, plantig churches and discipling people.
He wrote most of the books in the New Testament.
So he was saying that ministry is not based on your status its what you do and how you use it.
Yes i'll admit that i like the prospect of power of one, doing ministry together, saving souls and making disciples as one. I also know that ministering as a married couple expands the spiritual authority to minister to singles but also young professionals and young couples and even elders coz of the common ground. But i also want to see how much i can do while i am still single.
So far i have completed my G12 and going for my 144 level. The church have birthed out satellite churches in far places. I have coached and mentored young professionals not just in their careers but in their callings or ministry as well. I want to maximize it now as much as i can before i move to another level of ministry.
I also like spending time with my team of 12. If you are familiar with G12, each leader will win and disciple 12 people that will also disciple their 12 and so on. Homogeneous groups. I am still learning loving and molding and cherishing them coz when i am married, the time i'll spent with them will be limited unlike now and since most of them in my single season are also students, we can spend more time unlike when they will be professionals in the next 2 or 4 years from now. To travel more with them, to learn more about them, to see them study, graduate, find a job, etc.
I want it also a time to practice that in every season, whether single or married, we will be together. That there are no excuses serving God which ever season we are now.
...'but God gives to some the gift of marriage and to others the gift of singleness.' 1 Cor. 7:7
Both seasons are a gift. Don't waste it by thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
They are both different and beautiful gifts according to God's own time to be enjoyed in different seasons.
And that's it!
Its just a season. It will surely pass. Don't let it pass by faster by wishing you are at the next one.
If its fall, enjoy the changing hues of leaves.
If its winter, enjoy each snowflake that falls.
If its summer, soak in the sun and heat and when its finally spring, make every blossoming flower count.
I am no expert at this but being single for quite some time, it made me realize that whether we are still waiting for that someone or you are already together, we are still all gonna be waiting for Jesus, our bridegroom to come.
Whether we are single or not, we are all called to do the same Great commission to win the lost and make disciples.
Whether we remain single or not our joy still comes from the Lord not from our future spouses.
Whether we are single or waiting or already married- we could never say we have already arrived until Jesus comes. We wil still continue praying. Preserving. Enduring.
I like to quote Leslie Ludy:
I got that question after listening to a podcast from BCC Elevate, a gatherin every thursday of young professionals single or married. It was by a missionary who married at 39. She posed that question at the end of her preaching. It made me think.
If today would be the last day being single what would I do? So i came up with things i wish i could spend more time doing before the gift of marriage comes.
1. Passionate Spirituality
Eapecially prayer. I won't claim that i am a praying woman or warrior, but its definitely one of the major things that consume my time and energy in my single life.
Yes i know that in marriage it will become power of one, passion multiplied twice because it will be the 2 of you praying.
But that's it- it will be multiplied. If in my single life I was not passionate spiritually especially in my prayer life, what will be multiplied in my married life?
Each season of your life is always a preparation for the next.
By the time you marry also, your time will be divided. Even Paul in 1 Cor. 7:32 to 35 that being single is not because you are not courting anyone right now or you are not being courted or whatever reason you have now. The main reason for singleness is that its a season to serve and worship Jesus with as little distractions because in marriage your interests will be divided-pleasing God, your husband or wife, children and other more.
If in your singleness you have not practiced this how much more in your marriage?
Its also my time to practice self control and preserve my purity.
2. Improvement of Self
I know that nobody's perfect and everyone is a work in progress and changing. But i want that before i get to the altar on my wedding day, i have progressed and changed much already especially my not so good habits.
Because when you get married that stinky feet, bad breathe, personal issues and other bad traits won't disappear like magic. So as much as i can i want to change and keep an attitude of change that i will carry from my single to married life.
If this is would be my only day left to be single, many things come to mind:
- travel more like locally and internationally;
- watch a movie by myself;
- read and buy more books!
- write a book;
- finish my Masters degree;
- learn a new skill or improve one;
- save as much as i can
- learn to manage my own finances;
- open a business or invest
I can write more and i know you have an idea now for your own list. But definitely, i want to be more selfless in this season of singleness. To take up my own cross, die daily to my own selfish desires and follow Jesus everyday. I want to be more God focused in this time. Because in marriage its not about you anymore, its about the one you love. You put him or her first.
My desire is that when he finally finds me, he would have found a treasure and not a trap. That i may add to his life as he himself seeks God first and His righteousness.
3. Family time well spent
A friend of mine adviced me that i spend more time with my family now as a single because when your married time with them will be become less.
Since i am the youngest among 2, we are very close as a family and i grew up doing ministry with them also like we are doing now. I want to honor my parents more in this time. Vacations, family adventures and even financial aide.
Also, they say how you treat or interact the closest men in your family like brother or your father is the way you will treat your future husband. So i'll be practicing how to relate to my father, how i honir him and respect and submit to him will be a reflection for the future.
4. Maximizing my ministry
Since i am a pastor, i've heard many that i should get marry now because i need a partner so my ministry would grow. I used to think that way also but when i got to a certain level of increase in my ministry as a single it changed my mind.
I thought of Paul when he said in 1 Cor. 7:8 that its better to stay unmarried just as he was. It got me thinking.
What was he like?
He was single and unmarried until he died.
He spent his life spreading the Gospel, plantig churches and discipling people.
He wrote most of the books in the New Testament.
So he was saying that ministry is not based on your status its what you do and how you use it.
Yes i'll admit that i like the prospect of power of one, doing ministry together, saving souls and making disciples as one. I also know that ministering as a married couple expands the spiritual authority to minister to singles but also young professionals and young couples and even elders coz of the common ground. But i also want to see how much i can do while i am still single.
So far i have completed my G12 and going for my 144 level. The church have birthed out satellite churches in far places. I have coached and mentored young professionals not just in their careers but in their callings or ministry as well. I want to maximize it now as much as i can before i move to another level of ministry.
I also like spending time with my team of 12. If you are familiar with G12, each leader will win and disciple 12 people that will also disciple their 12 and so on. Homogeneous groups. I am still learning loving and molding and cherishing them coz when i am married, the time i'll spent with them will be limited unlike now and since most of them in my single season are also students, we can spend more time unlike when they will be professionals in the next 2 or 4 years from now. To travel more with them, to learn more about them, to see them study, graduate, find a job, etc.
I want it also a time to practice that in every season, whether single or married, we will be together. That there are no excuses serving God which ever season we are now.
...'but God gives to some the gift of marriage and to others the gift of singleness.' 1 Cor. 7:7
Both seasons are a gift. Don't waste it by thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
They are both different and beautiful gifts according to God's own time to be enjoyed in different seasons.
And that's it!
Its just a season. It will surely pass. Don't let it pass by faster by wishing you are at the next one.
If its fall, enjoy the changing hues of leaves.
If its winter, enjoy each snowflake that falls.
If its summer, soak in the sun and heat and when its finally spring, make every blossoming flower count.
I am no expert at this but being single for quite some time, it made me realize that whether we are still waiting for that someone or you are already together, we are still all gonna be waiting for Jesus, our bridegroom to come.
Whether we are single or not, we are all called to do the same Great commission to win the lost and make disciples.
Whether we remain single or not our joy still comes from the Lord not from our future spouses.
Whether we are single or waiting or already married- we could never say we have already arrived until Jesus comes. We wil still continue praying. Preserving. Enduring.
I like to quote Leslie Ludy:
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