Thinking Out Loud

I'm thinking out loud. It's overwhelming. I usually am the one who knows the answers to questions especially when my disciples ask. But now I'm just overwhelmed. Lately, I feel overwhelmed by all the series of events that is happening in my life. There are things I needed to do..people to consolidate. This week, I had the privilege to consolidate men and women that we've been raising as leaders in Kabacan Ministry-most of them we've been aiming for the primary 12. But the moment I heard their problems, their life stories and their struggles, I seem to have forgotten the Primary 12. I was overwhelmed with all that they are going through. They seem so young for me and yet what they go through takes courage and strength and lots of faith in God. I'm just thinking out loud. I think of these people, pray for them and even cry out to God for them, coz most of the time I don't know what to do. It makes me feel helpless and in need coz I can't seem to help. All I would do is listen and pray. As my days pass by as a full-time worker for God's kingdom, I get it now. God wants us to really rise up and leave our comfort zones and move with compassion. Why? coz if we don't, we've let go a long time already. In this world, were people 'just don't care' anymore, were friends don't seem to act like friends anymore, were friends is only on the "good times" and not with the "bad times", being one takes time and effort. I see myself giving my time and money to this people for that's all i have. But most especially I have God. I feel so small once again for the will of God. It's like I have to do lots of things at the same time. But then there is joy that rises from all of this. And it makes me more desperate for God, I don't know what to so I just cling to Him tightly more than ever. I don't have a leader(physically) that I could talk to here and cellphones gives me only little opportunity to really tell her all. Most of the time I'm on my own. But because of that, i grew up, matured. I was the leader here, I need to stand up. Sometimes it's frustrating- I feel so inadequate in all of God's will, I seem so unworthy of His trust and even the point of being called for a Calling such as this is...just makes me feel small. But God does not look on your adequacy, worthiness and even capabilities. When He calls, He calls. That's why so many people are called yet few are chosen because people don't say yes. I'm just one of those people that got chosen cause I said yes! to God. "Willingness" that's one of the key ingredients for the foundation in serving God. You had to be willing. Lord make me more willing in You and Your will. Most of the time i also get frustrated with the situations when it doesn't go according to plan. But that's when I learned how to love more for Love does not demand. I learned the art of patience not just to circumstances but also to the people in those circumstances. And lastly, I learned to just always focus and fix my eyes who already perfected it all- Jesus.